Giving Thanks and Letting Go

“For what it is worth: it is never too late or, in my case, too early

to be whoever you want to be.”

-       F. Scott Fitzgerald

In all honesty, I have not been dreading turning forty. The number itself doesn’t give me any kind of anxiety at all. I actually appreciate the opportunity it afforded me to consider how I should celebrate. If it were the middle of summer I would love to celebrate on a party bus with my best girlfriends or by taking a trip and maybe when summer gets here that is just what I will do. In the meantime, I decided to celebrate by doing one of my favorite things –running. On May 4, my 40^th birthday, I will run my 10^th half marathon. That is 13 miles of awesome. My gift to myself is the list of things I have written this year.  I have made a list of 13 things I am letting go of as I turn 40. That is one for each mile.  These are things that I have been holding onto that shouldn’t matter… they are unimportant and serve as baggage.  I have also made a list of 13 things I am grateful for. Almost all of the things on this list turned out to be people.  I am blessed with incredible family and friends. My guess is that if you are reading this… you are on the list! Thank you for being in my world and for allowing me to be in yours.

 I am not thrilled about aging, but the truth is… I wouldn’t trade what I know now for what I knew when I was twenty. I have spent the last twenty years learning about the kind person I want to be.  I am proud of the journey…even if it comes with wrinkles.  I like the person I will be at forty far more than the person I was at twenty. In fact… I wrote her a letter.

Dear 20 year old Sara,

You are a junior in college and you should be having more fun and doing less homework. I know you like to fly your nerd flag, but be sure to appreciate the time you have with these incredible friends you have made at Miami.  It won’t always be so easy to find the time to hang out. Do it more of it. Remember that as a rule in general.  Live in the moment. While I have somewhat admonished you from embracing your inner nerd, let me ironically encourage you to read more. You will learn a lot from fictional characters and their journeys won’t leave the same scars that real life journeys will.

A lot is going to happen in the next twenty years. The good news is ALL of it is far better than what you have imagined. It will take you a while to realize some of this stuff, but once you do it will make all of the difference. For example, talk less and listen more. It won’t just make you a better parent, teacher, and friend… it will make you a better person. You learned this from Bryan. By the way… well done. He was, hands down, the best decision you ever made.  Next, forgiveness is actually easier than anger. You can’t be angry and happy at the same time. This will take you years to learn, but once you  learn it life gets much easier. You will learn this about the same time you figure out that you shouldn’t let other peoples’ opinions define you. Being conscientious is good, but caring too much about what other people think is paralyzing. Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. It is ok if you have a few enemies –that means that you stood for something rather than going with the crowd. The years are about to show you what real friends look like. Many of them will be ones that you already know, some you have yet to meet – all of them will lift you up when you need it. You are blessed.   

Enough is better than too much. I would tell you to invest in Apple Stock, but money won’t be the key to your happiness. The most satisfaction money will bring you is when you can use it to bring other people happiness. Don’t get me wrong, you will need to work to support your shopping and crown royal habits (and this little thing called health insurance), but you will be fairly easy to please. You discover coffee, pinot noir, running, black sweatpants, the shoe department at Nordstrom, and so many of your other favorite things in the next twenty years. The best really is yet to come!

 You learn that your TIME is more valuable than money. Three of the most important people in your life will teach you about this. About those three people, they are named Grace, Evie, and C.J. They will help you learn the things that will bring you the most joy. They will also help you to develop patience, a trait that you have never had. I would tell you to stop rushing and to try to be on time…but you will still struggle with that twenty years from now.  I am afraid it is your DNA. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you about all of the great things in your future, but the true joy is in finding them for yourself.

Remember that your life doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful---and trust me your life at 40 is wonderful. Happy Birthday.