This is what almost 30 years of friendship looks like. One lonely day in the sixth grade, in the midst of mean girl drama, we saved each other. She, very bravely, walked into my life and taught me what it meant to be a real friend. I do not remember the details of our first conversation, but I do remember that we very consciously decided that we were done with mean girls. What emerged from a conversation in a small hallway of Holy Angels School was a relationship that has been a shelter for me for the better part of my life. In junior high there were sleep overs and Catholic school dances. Despite different high schools, we remained very much involved. We talked. A lot. This was before cell phones, before texting. This was the age of land lines...party lines for that matter! When we could drive, we spent weekends together. There were boyfriends, proms, and parties...but never drama. We shared secrets, dreams about our futures, and even clothes. In fact, our junior year we have our school picture in the same shirt! When college came along there were different universities, but the same friendship. She was by my side when I married my husband and I was by hers at her wedding too. Our oldest daughters share the same birthday - December 7. Our children have mirror personalities. The connections are endless. A shared history.
We can go months without visiting or even talking with one another and still, when we do connect, it is as if nothing has changed. We pick up right where we left off. Our friendship is like home, I am always so grateful to return to it. Over the years it has become difficult to spend the kind of time together that we would like, but when we do get together there is never an awkward hello or an allowance for an apology. After all these years, she still continues to be the friend that I am fairly certain people write about when they craft greeting cards. I am blessed.
The older I get, the more I appreciate our shared journey. Because of our shared journey I have the bonus blessing of knowing her family. I remember Bunnie's flawless breakfasts on Mason Road. I remember shopping trips to Value City. I remember dance parties to Run DMC. The move to Ft. Loramie. Her parents moving back to Sidney. I treasure all of it! I even treasure the memories that we shared in some of the most difficult times. The memory of getting ice cream and sitting by her Mom's grave talking for hours about memories and about heaven. There has never been a time when I haven't felt blessed to be in her presence. So when the opportunity presented itself for me to hear this friend deliver a speech about LOVE to a room full of women, mothers for that matter, I got in my car and drove to Michigan. I wouldn't miss it.
The truth is, whatever this friend could share about what she knows of LOVE should be in print and should be required reading for all. Her life is a testament to what it means to love. As I sat at the table at Shrine Catholic School, watching her take the podium, I felt my tears coming before she uttered her first word. I realized, she didn't need to say anything at all to convince me. Just being in her presence, at that moment, witnessing to her strength and courage was LOVE. All these years later, she continues to teach me about friendship and the shelter it provides.
Lori Lauber Tisko. From a small hallway in a Catholic school as sixth graders to sharing such a meaningful evening at another Catholic school in Michigan as soon to be forty somethings... love and friendship. A shelter.
