Authentically Olding

“Always remember there was nothing worth sharing
like the love that let us share our name.”

-          Scott Avett

Bryan and I decided to take the kids on a trip this year. We have been reluctant to do this because they have been so satisfied, even enamored, with weekend trips to Indian Lake. Our logic was “if they are happy with this…why introduce something more expensive and more complicated?” We have made a concerted effort to raise them to appreciate simple pleasures. We want them to understand that spending money doesn’t mean having more fun, and it certainly won’t deliver more happiness. The happy has to come from within, from appreciating the experience.  When making decisions for my own children I often use some of my own experiences as a measure. Growing up “Schlater in the 1980s” meant one pair of sneakers and a pair of dress shoes that would last a whole school year. I have vivid memories of bleaching my shoelaces and using white polish to “restore” the white leather Nikes with the red swish because there would be no second pair. It was nonnegotiable. I also remember waiting two years to score a pair of Guess jeans and then sadly hitting a growth spurt shortly thereafter so I had to choose between wearing designer high waters and looking like a dork or settling for a super cheap pair of JC Penney blue jeans…until my Grandma Weigandt suggested “cutting them off” and making them into shorts. Genius!  Even more crafty was when she helped me remove the beloved Guess triangle patch that was so important to me in grade seven  and then sew  it onto the JC Penney jeans… no one ever knew.  My parents weren’t frighteningly frugal, but practical. They taught me that I need to appreciate things.  I want to do the same for my kids. All that said---  Bryan and I came to the sobering realization that we only have a few years left to vacation with the kids before they get busy and it becomes a challenge to get away. So, we booked a trip to Vanderbilt Beach in Naples, Florida.

The plan was exorbitant amounts of beach time. Relaxing. It would be a first plane ride for C.J. It would be Evie’s first time on a beach since she was two years old. It would be a lot of firsts for all of us traveling together. I decided to keep my expectations low. I would let the kids dictate the days. The only expectation I had for the trip was to get a few pictures of my kids on the beach at sunset.  I wanted the kids to put on dress clothes, comb their hair, and get a glorious snapshot of them on the beach to remember the experience. Who knows---maybe even morph it into a Christmas card. That was it. That was all I wanted.

The beach was incredible. The kids loved it! They built castles, caught a starfish, dove for sand dollars, and swam for hours. I will never forget their smiles. I hope they never forget the time we spent together.  I took tons of daytime pictures on the beach. But, by the time the sun was setting we were cleaning up to meet my parents and go out for dinner. It wasn’t until our last day there that I realized I might not get the pictures I wanted. We had been at the beach all day again swimming. It would be an hour still before sunset and no one wanted to go up and change into dress clothes and comb their hair for a sunset photo shoot. So…I settled. I settled for pictures on the beach, at sunset in smelly, sand drenched whatever-they-had-on clothes with some super nappy hair to complete the look.  Admittedly I was annoyed.  This was not what I wanted.  However, what I got was “Authentically Olding.”  What I got was so much better than what I wanted in the first place. I captured my kids as they are, not as an orchestrated picture would have them be, but how they are and who they are, at this moment in time. Grace is twelve and just beginning to have those “Guess jean opinions” about name brands. She got a dumpy “on sale” white tank top from Hollister and wore it over and over. There is rarely a day when she doesn’t have on sports shorts. They are her signature.   And- yet there are moments when I just stare at her because she is beautiful. She is growing up so fast and becoming this person who makes me so proud. Evie is nine and this picture says it all. She is a free spirit. No cover up needed. She was probably only out of the water for a few seconds to humor me for the picture. The pony tail she is wearing is likely a day old and what’s worse is that she would try to make it last another day. This is my Evie. People could do worse than model her. She takes no value in appearances, but rather focuses on fun.  She reminds me, every day, that there are so many reasons to smile. And then there is C.J. in his Spiderman swim clothes holding his blue Lego Ninjago guy. He is awesome. He lives in this world that vacillates between fantasy and reality and every day I feel more blessed to be a part of it. Some days I get to be a ninja or the yellow power ranger, but most days I am the dispensable bad guy who suffers a horrible end. Every day I am just happy to be a part of his world.   They are all so much better than whatever I could have expected, or designed, or even imagined. They are all “Authentically Olding.”